Pull Up A Chair

• Her Words: Jacque

  *Today I thought I would do something a little different. So often you hear my perspective on the sessions and how excited I am to see the transformation and end result. I reached out to a couple of ladies who have had a session with me and asked them to talk about their experiences on the other side of the lens. I will be sharing them from time to time and maybe you'll see yourself in their stories.
  
  This is Jacque's story of her Tryst  Boudoir session with me back in February. She's a bombshell as well and did such a fantastic job during her session I would swear she was she was a pro. ;) * 

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  I have known Jaime for a while, and decided to go ahead and schedule a session. I wanted to do something special for my boyfriend as our 1 year anniversary fell on Valentine’s Day. I admitted to her that I was scared that I would be awkward and it wouldn’t end up looking nice. Jaime, already being a friend eased that worry, as we just chatted back and forth about her already having plans on what she wants to do with me. This actually surprised me. I don’t know what I was thinking -- that they don’t do any prep work -- that they just arrive and shoot off a whim. I have no idea, but hearing that she was doing research and planning put me completely at ease. I appreciated that so much. She took time out of her busy work week, with her full time job, as well as her sessions to put me at ease.

    I’ve always been heavy. I don’t remember a time when I was below a size 22. The love of my life has helped my personal esteem to grow in ways I didn’t even know existed. Now, I live a life of no apologies, and no regrets. Going into this session, I was in a down spot in my life. I moved to Virginia with nothing, but my suitcase with a weeks worth of clothes. Working a full time job, and having the money to have a place of my own, but not having a place of my own. You would be amazed at how that can affect someone. I was down and feeling very disgusting.

    The day I drove down to the session definitely wasn’t the best. Certain events caused things to not go the way I wanted, and I don’t handle sudden change very well. I arrived at the hotel stressed, with no make up, and wearing my comfy maxi dress. I looked a hot mess arriving at the room a bundle of nerves. I knocked on the door and I walked into a beautiful hotel suite. As soon as I laid my eyes on Jaime, I relaxed. I knew her. She knew me. I had nothing to hide or be ashamed of. It was an amazing feeling.

    Then, the pampering! I loved having a professional do my make up and hair. It was a blast, because we did a little bit of experimenting on my eye make up and I ended up looking like a sexy beast. I immediately felt better.

  

    The photo shoot, or rather, a session of friends laughing and chatting, while photos are taken. It was nothing like I expected. It felt almost natural and very comfortable. Awkwardness ensued at one point, but was quickly replaced by laughter and a change of outfit.

    When we finished, I put my jeans and a nice shirt on, and felt like a million dollars! We chatted in the room for a while, and then left her to do her editing. When I left the hotel room, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I looked like a plus sized model!
  
   

    In today’s society, when you look at yourself in the mirror you see all your flaws. You see every scar, every blemish, and every wrinkle. What Jaime does, is helps you to see you, the way everyone else sees you. She takes your raw pictures, and gives them a little buff with the photoshop (nothing too much) and reveals to you the real you. The you that is seen everyday by everyone. I have told and will continue to tell everyone I know about Hidden Exposure Photography, because it’s not just a photo shoot. This is a session, a session of friends, a session of laughter, a session of internal healing, to help you see you, how everyone else does.

• When the Melody will not Leave you be

  It's an album I actually expected to really not care for, one I thought I would give one listen to and put it back into my already bloated music library but I was wrong. When the first track started and the music began to build I knew there was something different about this and that I would be spending a lot of time getting acquainted with every note and melody of each and every track. The intricases of the lyrics and instrumentation made itself at home in my mind and my heart.
  
  It actually became a habit, every road trip or any time I was traveling I would put this cd on and allow it to speak to me time and time again. I would close my eyes,not while I was driving of course ;),  and see these images and I knew I needed to take them and translate it into photographs. Many times in the past this has been my process, but for some reason I never took the leap to make these shots a reality, It could have been fear or a myriad of excuses but this album would not let me go and over the summer I knew that no matter what I had to create.
  
  In October of last year I got a team together and we drove out into the middle of nowhere, chasing daylight to get these shots. There is a funny story I have to tell you later about how we almost got accused of tresspassing due to a misunderstanding but I'll save that for another time. :) In the meantime here is the session with the lovely Hannah. Special thanks to Heather Toler for the fantastic job on the hair, Tremayne Hill for the great styling, and Andrew for coming along during the session and being great comedic and conversational support while Hannah and I stood in the mud trying to get the perfect shot. 
  
  Here is the track that inspired this session. Enjoy :)

   

  

  

  

  

  

  

• Calling All Bombshells

  *blows dust off blog* 

    In my photography I focus on women; all shapes, sizes, and ages because of my firm belief that every woman is worthy of being seen. I love seeing the transformations and how wonderful they look and feel, I especially love seeing this in my plus-size ladies, or as I like to call them, my Bombshells. I know first hand how hard it is to stand up and have your photo taken. I know that anxiety of worrying about if your body is   going to be shown in a flattering way. It's tough and it can be so frustrating and heart breaking.  

    If you've been following my poorly neglected blog and vlog at all you know the history of my personal journey of self-acceptance; my journey to appreciate who I am exactly how I am and celebrate every part of me. As a plus-size, zaftique, rubenesque, fluffy, curvy, shapely, heck! ... fat gal it can be really difficult to appreciate your body because some days it feels like the whole world is against you.

    From the time you wake up to the time you sleep you are told your body is the enemy and that it's unworthy of beauty or praise. As a matter of fact when you are in a body like mine you hear more times than not that just by merit of size you should not exist as you are in this world. All those messages will wear you down, they will kill your spirit and cause you to shut down. In my case I gave up on clothes and any chance of happiness because my dimpled thighs, double chin, and wide hips automatically take me out of the running for any source of joy.  I decided to fight back and started curating images of  Bombshells on my Pinterest. After talking to some friends and other photographers recently and drawing on my own story I want to do something a little special for my Bombshells. 

    On May 25th  I want to focus on my plus-size sisters so I am offering a Bombshell only day of Tryst sessions. It'll be a great day of dress up, make-up, and pamering. It'll be a fantastic time and I know you'll come away from it feeling amazing with some special memories and great portraits to boot. I'm super excited about working with some awesome Bombshells and I expect these sessions to sell out quickly so act soon. 
  
  <3 Jaime :) 
  
   

• Keisa

  

  

  

• Dear me!

  

  (i think this is actually 17 year old me.. but *whispers* just go with it)

  Happy Birthday You!
  
  Today you turn 15 and this day has been full of surprises, from flowers to candies to cards from family, at this point in your life this may be the best birthday of your entire teenage life!  Well your 18th was pretty great too thanks to your friends plastering birthday greetings all over your dorm and your dorm room door being decorated to the nines but you have 3 years until you get there so hang tight. :) Truth be told you are going to have a lot of birthdays and some a going to be awkward, like that time you tried to throw your own suprise party, and others are going to be more than your brain can concieve, like that time you were actually thrown a suprise party a camera that changed your life for the good. But each one of them, every passing year, is one that is special to you and a memory that good or bad is a cherished one. You've had a great life,little one, and it may not feel like it now, but just hold on.

  Let's be real here, I know you better than anyone and I know the things that break your heart and guess what, as you get older those same things will hurt and sting but you have to remember it's temporary.The thoughts that ran through your head this morning, the ones tell you that you are not good enough, not pretty enough, and not thin enough are ones that sadly get worse over the years and I wish I could tell you that drowning them out is incredibly simple, but it will take time before you can look in that same mirror and tell those voices that they are false. You will struggle from time to time but it's important to know that you are beloved by so many and that beautiful does not even begin to describe your heart, it radiates and those in your life would be the first to agree, even when you don't. But enough with the tears and the sap, let's talk about the other things, those things you really have been wondering about.
  
  1- Music. Keep listening to it, even if no one else likes those bands. In about a year or two you'll go through a country phase and it's ok, when you are in your late 20's your ability to be able to recite an entire John Michael Montgomery song will actually be a source of a lot of laughter so it's ok. For the most part though, keep discovering new bands, those artists that you wind up falling for, some actually become good friends and those songs will help you through from super rough times and will help you find your own artistic voice.
  
  2- Being chubby. I know , right know you are hating yourself and really wishing that you could fit in with a lot of your friends. Truthfully it's something that you'll always struggle with but it does not make you any less awesome. Try not to waste your time obsessing over it, which feels like it's something impossible to do because you'll be reminded daily of what makes you different. Enjoy every single bit of space you are in at that moment, even if you feel as though it's more than you should. Your size never stops you from living life, and it's a pretty terrific life if I must say.

  3- Travel. Yes, you will get a chance to travel and you'll want to do it whenever and and to wherever you can. Make sure you enjoy every little moment of those trips and write down as many memories as you can.  When you are 30 you'll get a chance to go to China and it will change your life. Don't spent that time obsessing over the little things but embrace the experience and the people you are with.
  
  4- Friends. Guess what, my little social butterfly, you are actually going to have a bunch of friends. Many of them you'll have the luxury of keeping throughout your life and that is a rareity. I know you think that they only want to get to know you because of who you know or what you do, but really they think you are pretty cool. Keep making them laugh and loving the way you do, it's something that makes you incredibly special and people don't forget that.

  Ok.. ok.. here is the last point, and I'm sure it's the one you've been the most curious about.

  5- Boys. Listen, it's going to be a bumpy road for quite some time. You are going to crush on a lot of guys, and I do mean a lot, and for the most part you are going to strike out, sometimes in epic fashion, and it will feel like the worst pain you've ever felt, but it's not because you are a failure it just was not the right match. Most of these gents remain dear friends  and over the years you'll realise friends was a much better idea. Yes, you'll get taken down by one really bad choice and it'll be a super dark time but some years later you'll meet you match, in the best way possible.
  
  Once you actually meet this fella the other rejections won't matter. He'll be worth the wait, and will be all the things you have wanted, even that lame list you wrote out on a whim. He will remind you daily that you are loved and cherished and pushes you to be the best you, you can be and will give you a chance to do the same for him. What you two have is something special and right now it seems like it will never come, but it will, just hold your horses. :)

  Happy birthday little me! The next 21 years are going to be a wild ride, enjoy every single moment of it.

  
  
  

  
  
  

• You Bring Me Joy

  
  

  You bring me joy when I'm down oh, so much joy
  

  When I lose my way your love comes smiling on me
  

  I saw your face and then I knew we would be friends
  

  I was so afraid but your arms, they'd say

  Come to me?

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  Thank you, baby, thank you, baby

  I just love you, baby, I just love you, baby, 

  I just love you

  When I lose my way, your love comes smiling on me

  
  
  

• It's a Family Affair

  Saturday I documented one of the most special weddings to date. 

  

  

  

  

  
  More to come. :) 

• Sweet Confidence

  You have to push your comfort zone daily until you reach confidence!
  
  You have to FEEL it and own it, MAKE it yours, daily, weekly, every moment...when nude when dressed, without makeup, with makeup. Banish the negative thoughts and replace with thoughts of "I'm freaking fine and I own this, I'm beautiful and sexy and am just as gorgeous as that Victoria's Secret model." It's a marathon and there's no easy way to break through your OWN negativity except one positive thought at a time.
  
  Once you start breathing it in and the sweet confidence fills your lungs, you will finally feel like the kitten that you are and wonder why you EVER spent a moment hating yourself.
  
  ~Jessica Kane
  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  
   

• You are Worthy of Being Seen

  You are worthy of being seen it's that simple, or is it? 

  I know for most of my life I have felt the exact opposite. I did not think I, Jaime Patterson, was worthy of being seen. I looked too different from everyone I knew, towering over most of my girlfriends and some of my guy friends. My skin was darker than most. My weight larger than many so why would I be worthy of being seen? I carried this question around with me for so long and looking at my actions I knew deep down that, for some reason, I didn't.
  
  As a teen I'd plaster photos of my friends over my mirror so I did not have to see myself. If there was a camera in the general vicinity of where I was standing I would practice my ninja-skills and find a way to avoid it at all costs. I actually have a group photo taken my senior year of high school where the only way you know I was in it is to look closely at the back row and you'll see the top of the cap I was wearing at the time. One or two bad photos taken of me growing up, and the constant reminders of my differences, made me think that hiding was ok, that it was actually necessary, because I had to earn the right to be worthy of being seen. I think secretly even up until 3 years ago I held onto this belief, which when you are a photographer, is strange because I create and sell images, but don't want to have anything to do with them myself. 

  A couple of years ago ,through a lot of hard work, I started to really push myself to be seen. I wanted to be in the memories I was making with friends and loved ones. I wanted to be able to look back on those trips, those nights out with my girlfriends, and those spontaneous group shots and remember. So I put myself in photos, my too tall, too large, too whatever, self and allowed myself to be seen. Ya know what, the world did not end and when I look back at those photos I don't focus so much on how I looked but rather who I was with and what happened during that time. When I see my smile in those photos I know that being seen is not a terrible thing and actually it's one of the best things I could do for myself, and it's why I want to work with other women, so they too can know their worth. 
  
  Ladies, regardless of your size, your age,or your height, you are worthy. Your family and friends need to see you, your unique self that means the world to them. The world needs to see you, and your lovely self because you are worthy of wonderful things. 
  
  

  People need to see how your eyes sparkle at just that moment

  

  They deserve to see your smile and all the joy you have in your heart

  

  They need to see you laughing and loving with your friends 

  

  They need to see you in love 

  
  

  They need to see you in those quiet moments 

  
  

   

  They need to see your sass 

  
  

  
  

  More than anything, you, me, we all deserve to be seen

  
  
   

• Tryst: Susie Girard

  "Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes." 
  ~Sophia Loren 
  
  When I look at this photo of Susie and how pampered she felt the day of her session the quote above rings 100% true. 
  
  I love this image because of it's simplicity and how it reflects just how beautiful she is. I love that she made this session totally her own and you can see it in every image. :)